NEVER Give a DERANGED Author a Lighter
by JuliaAbadeerSkellington
Summary: Inspiration for this came from a review for my story "AleHeather Letters". Chris McLean messed with the wrong tv cast. Rated T for swearing and death/murder, and fire. Now adding more chapters.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama, Chef Hatchet, or Chris McLean. I also do not own the mentioned Marceline and Marshal Lee. I only own my ideas.**

**A/N: Hey everyone! The idea for this story came from a review of my aleheather story. Thanks jayne'z star. I gladdly accept the lighter. Also I kinda added you as a character in this story. I do not know if you are a guy or a girl so i made the character a girl named Jayzline(pronounced Jay/z/lin) so if you are a guy sorry about that.**

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It was a quarter after eleven and still no sign of Jayzline. "Where is she?", complained my big brother. I Gibs slapped(**A/N : HAHA! I love NCIS**) and my big sister(his idententical twin) Marceline said "Marshal Lee Abadeer! Do want us to get caught?" "No." "Then be quiet." "I am sure Jayzline will be here soon." I said. Not 10 secomds later someone behind me says "Lookin for me?" Marcie and I turn around so we can all now see our friend/partner in crime. "So," she says "You guys got the stuff" "Yep! We got 20 gallons of gasoline, 20 galolons of lighter fluid, stuff to block off any and all exits, and a letter in Chef Hatchets handwritting confessing to this crime." "Did you slip him the sleeping drug?" "Yeah, right into his whiskey." And he didn't notice?" "Hell no, it was his tenth glass of the stuff." "Good. Now lets get started before that asswhole wakes up." So for the next 5 hours we spreand the flamable liquids all around the hous and linded stuuf with flamable fabrics we found, then we blocked all of the possible exits so he would not escape. After we were done we stapled the note to a near by tree that was far enough away that it would not get burned at all. "May I please have the lighter Jayzline?" "Yes Ma'am Julez!" When she handed me the lighter I taped down the ignition switch(**A/N: Sorry don't actually know what it is called.**) and threw that bitch like it was ticking time bomb. As soon as I threw it we ran like hell out of there. While we were running away we heard the screams of the soon to be dead tv host. Thats what you get for torturing our friends on your stupid shows.

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**A/N2: I want to know what you think.**

**bye bye Chris McLean. FOREEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVV VVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR RRRR!(insert insainly evil laugh here now)**

**please review**

**Love,**

**Julia**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: yeah, i am adding one more chapter. I owe it all to jayne'zstar. THANKS FOR ALL THE LIGHTERS!(by the way the character Jayzline now goes by a new name *hint hint***

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my ideas.**

**Warning: Mentions of AleHeather, Gwuncan, Coderra, and NIzzy**

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We were all gathered around the giant fire pit waiting for one more person to arrive. "UGH! Where is she?!" Heather asked/complained. "Patients, Mi Amor, she will get here soon." Alejandro said trying to calm down his fiance. "Yeah, Heather. You just need to have more faith in people." The maid of honnor aka Gwen replied. Duncan was standing right by her with his arm around her waist, stoked about 3 things: what they were about to do, being the best man in Heather and Alejandro's wedding, and his upcoming wedding to his goth angel. "Don't worry she will be here" I say with a slight lack of confidence. "She better, she has all the stuff." says my now bummed out big bro Marshall Lee. "Ah, lighten up, Marshy!" Teases his twin sister Marceline, and we all burst out laughing. "SHUT UP!" he yells. That just makes us laugh harder, especially Izzy. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! THAT'S FUNNY! EXPLOSIVO WANTS THE BOOM! BOOM! NOW!" She screamed the last part as Noah tried to hold her back. "You're nuts woman, but that's what I love about you." "Ah Izzy loves you to Noah, my handsome bookworm!" Noah now blushing gives her a small kiss on her forehead. "AAAAAAAWWWWWEEE! SO CUUUUUUTE! Aren't I right Codykins" Sierra squeals to her boyfriend. "Yeah. Those two are perfect for eachother, like you and me." Cody says then kisses her gently. "Can you cut all this love fest crap?" Everyone turns around to see who said that. "Jayne!" Marcy, Marshy, and I yell. "Hey! I brought the stuff." Jayzline said. She then proceeded to dump out the contents of the large sack she was carrying. Out fell pictures of Chris, Chef, and Mildred (Blainely), and tons of matches, lighters(**A/N:HEHEHEHE!**), gasoline, and some fireworks(the illegal kind). There is a chorus of "yeah", "sweet", "Hell yeah", "Booya", and "BOOM! BOOM!"'s from everyone. "LETS GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" I yell. The guys had gathered a bunch of logs beforehand. As we piled them in the center of the pit, we started to think of all the ex-contestants have been through here. Once we're done, we soak it with gasoline, and Marshall throws a lighter in to the pit from 20ft away. Once it is safe we all start throwing in the pictures, some of us lighting some of the pictures, and setting of the fireworks. Noah asks me if I've seen Izzy. I tell him I had her run around the island dumping gasoline every where. When he is about ask another question Izzy jumps on his back, smothering his head with kisses. I walked away smiling at those two and picked a roman candel and set it off. It went on like this for about 4 hours. When we were all getting on my boat, we all turned around and we each trew a light object at the island shouting how this island ruined our (or in Marcey, Marshy, Jayne, and mine cases our friends) lives. Heather and Alejandro said the same thing about him almost dieng. How sweet. A few good things did come out of this show. Courtney came up to me and said "I can not believe you bought Camp Wawanak! When I first heard it I thought you had gone as insane as Izzy, but when you told us your plan for it was overjoyed!" "I am glad you had fun Court." And with that the boat started up and we left the island, watching it burn to a crisp. Then we all shouted "GOOD BYE TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND! FOREVER!"

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**A/N: I hope you all liked it. Please let me know if I should add more, or if you would like me to do stories based on what the couples I mentioned said.**

**Julia out! Peace, bitches!**


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